I wasn’t sure if I’d be back so soon & part of me wanted to delete last weeks post & pretend it never happened. Why I hear you ask? I’ll be totally honest & it’s not pretty- when I write here or share on Instagram I want interaction. I want people to read, like & comment. We aren’t supposed to admit that are we, but that’s the truth. And so what happens is that once I share I then get a little caught up in seeing if there’s been any interaction & when there’s not I feel bad, a little invisible & like I don’t matter. Pathetic right? And I hate myself for WANTING the interaction. Why can’t I be happy to just keep my stuff myself? It’s a question I wrestle with all the time. So after last weeks post I spent a day feeling like that & wondering if despite the fact that I am told I a missed over on Instagram why there was no interaction here, except from Claire. Hi Claire! And my friend Lyd who messaged me a whole reply to pretty much everything I wrote- what a friend! So I sat with the ugly & uncomfortable feelings for a bit & this is what I came up with- I miss personal blogs SO much & despite hearing over & over again that blogging is dead I am coming back to writing in a space that is not instagram. I enjoy talking about things I’ve been consuming so I am going to write about them. I like talking to people so I will write in the hopes people will write back. But if they don’t I need to not take it so personally. If people don’t want to read over here that’s FINE! It really is. I don’t want to write & share on Instagram right now so we can all just be stubborn about where we share & consume stuff LOL!
So I’m back! And if I’m writing to an empty room I will learn to be ok with that. It will take some time & I will have to keep talking myself down off the ledge of people pleasing/wanting to be special/needing to be liked but I am ready to do that. Normally I’d apologise for the rambling intro but I have also decided to try & stop apologising for things that need no apology. Instead I’ll say, welcome back to the basics. I’m so pleased to be here with you.
COOK: Im planning on making another batch of this but I don’t use it as a sauce, I make it into a soup. Once it’s cooked & blended I just add some chicken stock to thin it out, a few handfuls of red lentils, simmer for about 45 mins. Then I add some soup pasta. It’s so hearty & delicious, perfect for these cold wintery days we are having also, it freezes really well too.
EAT: I have been hormonal which means I eat EVERYTHING! Avocado on toasts with lemon, salt, peps & chilli every single morning. Handfuls of Twix pods throughout the day. Lots of dal. Potatoes in some kind of crunchy form as much as possible. All the comfort food, all the time. I have learnt not to feel guilty about my food choices & this especially comes into play while I ma hormonal. If my body wants 5000 pods then that’s what i will give it.
READ: I’ve had monkey brain for days & days which means I can’t concentrate on anything so I only started a new book yesterday (the book ninja, so far, so good). Instead I’ve been reading the latest copy of Frankie & Frankies special addition called Feel Good. Both make me laugh & think & just feel good.
WATCH: After reading an article in Frankie titled “the Winona Ryder fan club” it reminded me how much I love WR, she’s the best isn’t she! So I then decided to watch a Winona movie every night. I started with How to Make an American Quilt (on Binge), which I’d never seen. It was ok. Next up was the movie that at age 13 made me love Christian Slater & want to be Winona- Heathers (on Netflix). It’s totally messed up but I still bloody love that movie. Then I watched Reality Bites (I hired it through Apple TV). This remains one of my all time favourite movies. It speaks to my ever-loving 90’s heart. I want to be Winona in that movie & when I finished watching I said to Tim “I want to cut my hair off”. I am easily led. Last night I watched Mermaids (on Stan. I signed up just so I could watch this movie!) which I have to say I didn’t love as much as when I was younger but enjoyed the re-watch. And can we take a moment to drool over Cher’s skin in that movie!!! Tonight I’m going in for Beetlejuice (not on a streaming service but I have it on DVD), a classic forever & ever. I wholeheartedly recommend deep diving into old, or new, movies of an actor you love, it’s really fun!
LISTEN: The bonus episode on the podcast How to Fail Heeeeere’s Dolly with Dolly Alderton (I listen to podcasts through Spotify or Apple podcasts) Ever since I listened to Dolly’s first book back in 2018 I have been a HUGE fan of her so I will consume anything & everything she is part of.
And because when I obsess over something I go all in I have also been listening to the Reality Bites soundtrack. It was one I listened to so much as a teen, I still have the CD. It’s still a really fun album.
PONDER: After listening to Dolly speak on the above podcast what I took away is this- it’s ok to be extra. I am one of those people who always feel like I’m too much. I talk too much. I get quite obsessive about things & people I love. I am all or nothing. I almost always walk away from an interaction feeling like I should apologise just for being me. I am in my head a lot & I often wish I wasn’t. But it’s ok & instead of thinking people dislike these qualities about me maybe they are the things they like about me? All of this led me to wondering- can I stop apologising for who I am & just accept that I am a little extra? Can I truly believe that what others think of me is no business of mine? Can I flip my thinking to believe people like me for the things I think they possibly couldn’t? I want the answer to be YES.
BUY: I have dipped in & out of meditation over the last few years. I’ve cycled through all the free meditations on Headspace, Calm & Insight so this week when my brain was jumping around & every time my head hit the pillow thoughts would run rampant I finally decided to buy a subscription to Calm so I would have access to more of what I like. I had a 40% discount so it cost just over $40 for 12months & I have used it every single night so far. I am falling asleep easier & when I wake up during the night I go back to sleep much quicker. It’s worth it to me but if you don’t want to pay for a subscription I recommend Insight because it has the biggest range of free meditations to choose from.
DO: Make a mindmap of what you have in your kitchen. Stay with me friends, I know this is weird but I am in a stage of life where I HATE thinking about dinner &I hate cooking dinner. Normally I’d meal plan but last weekend I got a huge sheet of paper & wrote all the meat I had in the freezer with meals they could be made into. I then wrote lists of veggies, carbs, frozen food & non-meat proteins. what it’s meant is that any time someone asks whats for dinner I say “choose something from the lists!” or if dinner is up to me I just look at the map. I cross things off as we use them & I’ll update it any time I shop. I don’t know how long this will last but for now it’s helping.
And that’s it friends! Got any recs for me? Should I add more to the Basics? Let me know. Talk soon xx